Noah: So what do we need to buy at Target, anyway?
Me: Not too many things. We need a mailing envelope, masking tape, Scotch tape, All, and Ivory.
Noah: Ivory? What are you going to do with THAT?
Me: Noah, it's dishwashing liquid. I use it to wash dishes.
Noah: Oh! Well, I was going to say that elephant tusks are illegal to sell and buy in the United States. You can only buy them on the black market, and even then it's really pricey.