Yes, we know. Our Parents of the Year Award will be arriving soon.
Wayne’s World is the 1992 comedy about Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, two slackers who host a public-access TV show in Wayne’s parents’ basement. The movie poster shows a picture of Wayne and Garth standing next to each other with the words, “We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We’ll hurl.” I loved this movie and had my own VHS copy years ago when VCRs were the rage.
For weeks afterwards Henry and Noah sang the song. It’s a long song, too – almost six minutes. When they were getting ready for bed, they sang the song. When they were messing around during summer days, they watched the official video on the iPad. The music made them giggle and giggle. I think it affected them so because it is a ballad, an opera, and a rock song all in one. There’s something for everyone. What could be better?
When I turned a page of his notebook, I stopped reading and sat down. I couldn’t smile big enough. On two pages in 8-year-old penmanship, Henry had written out the lyrics to “Bohemian Rhapsody” complete with a tiny picture of a man playing the guitar, a man playing the piano, and another man playing the drums. What a treasure.
I pictured his third grade teacher saying, “Get out your writer’s notebooks. For the next ten minutes we’re going to write.”
“What do you want us to write about?” I imagined a third grader asking.
“Write about whatever’s on your mind,” I imagined the teacher saying.
Henry got to work.
“I see a little shilohettoe of a man
Saramuch sacormouch will you do the findango?
THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTNING VERY VERY FRIGHTINING (all caps because it’s a shouting voice) Me!
gallileo Gallileo gallileo Gallileo gallileo Gallileo gallileo (notice the lowercase and uppercase to signify the change in pitch?) frigaro frigaroooooo
I’m just a Poor boy and nobody loves me
HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! “
The two pages were priceless.
I imagined the disappointed teacher sitting down with us to discuss our parenting skills.
“He’s just a poor boy from a poor family,” I imagined her saying.
“Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?” my husband would say. (This is a line from the movie. It’s said instead of “Excuse me, I beg your pardon?”)
“Yes, we let him watch Wayne’s World,” I imagined myself saying to the teacher, “but look at his precise penmanship, his memorization of the lyrics, and his capitalization. He can sing, too. All is not lost. It’s excellent.”
Then I imagined we would open our eyes, look up to the skies and see . . . and come to the realization that it wasn’t a big deal, really. We’re parents who are doing the best we can. In the big scheme of life, does it really matter that we let an 8-year-old boy watch Wayne’s World? The only thing he remembered were the odd lyrics to “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Surely other Parents of the Year have done worse.