1) School is cancelled tomorrow due to inclement weather, which means it feels like -55 degrees, and we all might die if we stay outside more than a few minutes. Even Antarctica is warmer this time of year. As the saying goes, "It's colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra." Indeed.
2) Isaac is unhappy and crying because the bus will not arrive Monday morning. His brothers’ buses will not arrive, either. Yesterday he rode his bike in the driveway for a few minutes and was grinning ear to ear. Last winter in sub-zero temperatures he shot baskets and broke part of the backboard when the basketball hit it. He says “car” repeatedly, which means he wants to spend the day tomorrow doing errands. Sorry, but if it’s that cold, we’re not leaving the house unless it’s on fire.
3) Isaac “accidentally” deleted the Iowa vs. Wisconsin basketball game tonight that was to record on TiVo. It would have been better if he had deleted it after it had been recorded, since those things can generally be recovered, but nope, he deleted it before it was recorded. Naturally, Chris had programmed the game to record weeks ago and was REALLY looking forward to watching it after the kids were in bed. Oops!
Tonight as our family was eating dinner (fire-breathing turkey chili for the adults; organic turkey burgers for the kids), everyone except Isaac took turns adding to this list. (He may have deleted the basketball game during this time, for all I know.)
I guess if we’re all in the deep freeze, we should try to look on the bright side, right? I had a summer job in college (Chris says it was a cult) that encouraged us all to look for silver linings in any situation. Did your car break down? Okay, give me 20 reasons why this is a good thing. (Funny thing is, our brainwashed minds could always think of at least 20.) No matter what happens, things can always be worse. (Some of you may argue that our brains have frozen . . . it's entirely possible.)
Here it goes:
20 Reasons We’re Glad it’s Cold
1. No lawn mowing
2. The weather is a good conversation starter.
3. It’s a good excuse to keep the front door closed. (Isaac likes to open it often.)
4. It’s a good excuse to stay home. (Isaac likes to go often.)
5. No unsightly tan lines
7. When you go outside and see your breath, you know you’re still alive.
8. This cold spell temporarily reversed global warming.
9. We drink more coffee to stay warm.
10. We can leave meat, ice cream, frozen foods, etc. in the car without them thawing or melting.
11. Sun dogs in the sky
12. We can keep frozen food outside if our freezer dies.
13. We can do cool science experiments with water outside.
14. No mosquitoes
15. No sweating
16. The weather is good for hermits.
17. The weather keeps gangs inside.
18. No annoying lines at the water park
19. Playground equipment won't burn your hands and legs when you go down the slide.
20. Fewer crowds are in Iowa since many people have fled to the South.